Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Because I am lame, I copy emails and post them

Christmas Party Rules

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Who cares that it has 10,000 calories.

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. Thats the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes and fill it up. Eat. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes. Always ask if they were made with skim or whole milk. If its skim, pass. Its like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party. Indulge yourself at the party.

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January. This is a time for long naps.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like Santa frosted Christmas cookies. Position yourself near them, and don't move. They are like a beautiful pair of shoes; if you leave them, they are gone forever.

8. Have a slice of each kind of pie that is offered.

9. Avoid fruitcake at all cost.

10. December calories don't count.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Your "lame" post cracked me up.

4, 6, and ten were my favorites.