You know how you notice something and then for some reason it becomes a reoccurring theme? Like, your playing punch bug with your brothers and all the sudden it seems like everyone in the US is driving VW bugs?
It all started when the hubs and I were watching TV the other night and one of the Guardasil commercials came on. You know, the HPV shot. This shot was just beginning to get alot of attention right after I got engaged. And now, it seems that everyone is getting it. Which I understand; especially, when it comes to teenage girls with college and lots of dating in front of them.
However, when my gyno presented this option to me, I was already engaged and about 6 months out from my wedding. She gave me the flyer about it and told me to think about it. Well, my inital response was, "No, thanks. I don't do shots." But, after I left something still wasn't sitting well with me about it. She said something about having a 50 year old patient go ahead and get it because "you never know whats going to happen to your marriage."
It seems like that if you live with that thought in your mind, you are planning for a doomed marriage. So, if thats the case, why get married in the first place? Trust is the absolute center of a relationship, to me. I trust that my husband is going to follow through 100% for the rest of our lives with the things he vowed on our wedding day. "To be honest and faithful" were words of our vows that we wrote together. Honesty and faithfulness are key components of trust which is why we chose those words.
So, in my world, if I got that shot, I would be planning for a time that I would not fully trust my husband. And, I realize that things happen, but if you go into a marriage without the faith that you are going to do your part and he is going to do his, then you are already preparing for it not to work. For example, a wife keeps a stash of money that her husband does not know about just in case he were to do something or leave. She has already lost faith in her marriage and does not trust that her husband is going to do his part to love and stay commited to her. And, I bet that if he found out about this, he would trust her less than she trusted him during the stashing. Maybe this would lead to the end of their public relationship... even though it actually began when she starting stashing money.
You can not plan for something to go wrong. By taking yourself out of a commitment even just a little bit, you are creating a larger possibility for something to go wrong.
I fully believe that my marriage is going to last because I fully believe that my husband and I are going to do the things we vowed to do. I would rather live my life being 100% faithful and honest than live my life waiting for the day that something is going to go wrong and planning ways to protect myself when it finally does.
well, hi there.
4 months ago